When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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