I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
