Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
