is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
this hospital has no fireball
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
