Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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