I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
