She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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