You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
