Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
