it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
only if we run a train.
done.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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