I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
