watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
