I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
