Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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