I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
There's even glitter on my cock...
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