Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
