"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
