Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
