kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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