well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
