I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
