Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Randomize
