Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
