You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
