A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
