Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
