I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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