people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
