please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
