You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
