I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
