He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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