She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
