i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
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