I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
