no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
