I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
