benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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