I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
