just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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