Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
false alarm, still single
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