i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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