That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
