I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
