apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
