hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
