It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
worst night to have a conscience
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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