I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
