lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I think I just shit out all my problems.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
