sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
