We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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