i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
